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The Rest Of You Are Mad: First The World Then The People

The Rest Of You Are Mad

Some unkind souls call this a humorous column. It does in fact demonstrate that I am the only sane person on earth and everyone else has something seriously wrong with them. I am afraid I cannot reply to comments by letter as we are not allowed sharp objects in here.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

First The World Then The People

In 1959 Eugene Ionesco wrote the play Rhinoceros. In this the inhabitants of a small French town turn quietly into rhinos whilst one man alone remains human and rages at the situation. This is regarded as an absurdist drama. It is conceded that it tells fundamental truths but it is still considered to be an unrealistic reflection of everyday life.

Sometimes life imitates art. The work is not unrealistic. It is merely prophetic. We are at the threshold of the Rhinoceros Age. We must be because we have lived through everything else.

The twentieth century from which we have just emerged was characterised by the predominance of different movements. Different social designs and ways of looking at the world competed for attention. Little by little everyone was pulled into this ideological vortex. Whatever people defined themselves as there was always someone else to define them as an ist and or ism. Most people in the United Kingdom used to be adherents of Conservatism, Liberalism or Socialism. There were also modernists, traditionalists, secularists, consumerists and all kinds of other ists. They quietly accepted this situation and continued to do so by default for many years. Only with the collapse of Communism and the radical repositioning of traditional parties have these partial ists and isms become discredited.

In a street in South London called Iliffe Street there is some strange writing on one of the paving stones. It says "I am not an Ist and I will not be Ism'd." Many people share these sentiments. But how did the words get there? At first sight they appear to be written with chalk. But no one can make chalk writing that neat. Similarly the words appear to be weather resistant. The smoothness of their surface betrays the fact that they have been there a long time. In recent days we have had everything from brilliant sunshine to torrential rain. So how exactly did those words come to be on the pavement? And who put them there?

Only one material could create neat weather resistant words of such quality on paving stones. Rhino horn. This is usually used as an aphrodisiac or so they tell me in New Cross Gate NDC. If it had been brought to Iliffe Street for this purpose it would not be wasted on writing on the pavement. Clearly a rhiinoceros is living in the street. A rhinoceros that speaks and writes English. Of course it does. This explains everything. We all quietly accepted being isted and ismed to establish an identity in the twentieth century. Those who resisted would have avoided being turned into rhinos. Now the trend is in the opposite direction. Those who resist isting and isming are turning into rhinos. Acceptance of them is the only way to swim against the tide and remain human.

Take a look at the world around you. Take a look at all the small and skinny men who take up bodybuilding. Are their teak hard muscles the result of weights or are the weights a disguise for the hardening of their muscles into rhino hide? Everyone has a mobile phone. How can you get reception without a built in aerial sticking out of your forehead? And is an atmosphere full of pollution and pesticides really the reason people walk with their heads down? Or more and more people take up rugby and want to play in the scrum? Or people bend over computers all day? Look at these people and see that they are the ones who think it is trendy to reject all ists and isms in favour of apathy. Very few believe in ideals any more. The few that still cling to them are the only ones who can remain human in the resultant directionless mess.

Maybe we should have seen this coming. Voting figures have declined consistently and nowhere more so than in the U.S. which is the most influential country in the world. In previous ages people who joined the Hitler Youth did not realise this meant they were turning into collaborators in mass murder. People who bought a Sinclair CV did not realise they were encouraging everyone to get run over by lorries. We have almost become rhinos several times before. Why are we tipping over the edge now? Because in a world where both tolerance and narrow idealism have run out of steam there is nowhere else to turn. Only the most radical of istists and ismists can now retain human identities and preserve what is left of the human race.

One inevitable feature of the rhinoceros age is that hardly anyone will listen to the warnings of those of us who retain a radical ist or ism. But it has been observed many times that when the centre of something collapses the periphery becomes central. As the centre turns into a bunch of rhinos the most extreme people will suddenly become the focus of revival. This will doubtless mean the most extreme people of any kind. I very much look forward to the day when the most extremely beautiful women join me in seeking to preserve the human race. I may have drawn the world's attention to the fact it is turning into rhinos but I am not complaining about it. Indeed I would go out of my way to encourage the current apathy. When rhinodom becomes obvious to the rhinos themselves those who remain human will no longer be expected to be like everyone else. Then we will really have a society worth living in.

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