Wrong Place No Matter What The Time

In Southeast London there is a company called Devontra Creations. This manufactures skincare products and things of this nature from natural ingredients. It makes a wide range of different products which people buy as soon as they see. It is run by one woman making everything herself by her own methods and storing the finished products in her fridge.

That fridge is about to have a serious problem. One of the products is a powerful aphrodisiac. There are about two gallons of the stuff in the fridge at the moment. Is there any electrical system on earth that can cope with such stimulation? The fridge will blow in more ways than one and fires will rage throughout Surrey Quays. Do not think that fridges are immune to such effects. Metal is cold to begin with. There must be a reason why something which is already cold needs to be installed with frigidisers to make it function calmly.

Fridges are caring by nature. This implies compassion and further implies passion. They have a burning desire to keep food and drink cold and fresh and weep their frost when they cannot operate at maximum effectiveness. This is often the case with things which are not blessed with great physical beauty. A lot of people in the voluntary sector are there because they do not look good enough to access more glamorous worlds. Other sorts of electrical appliance are now being designed for beauty. The fridge is the old mother hen who no one wants to go to bed with but everyone wants to care for them. No wonder it has all this pent up passion. The force of the aphrodisiac is clearly too strong for such a creature to resist and wild sprees of indiscriminate connections will be the inevitable consequence.

Fridges do not have souls. They therefore do not have morals either. They will doubtless release their huge electrical force somewhere. Traditionally toasters are the first things to blow up on contact with their current. If a toaster is near the fridge it will be charged to unusability in a very short time and the fridge will look around for longer lasting outlets. A computer would probably be the best bet as it endures an endless supply of pornographic images coursing around its networks. It must be highly charged and stimulated too. But what would a fancy computer with friends all over the world want with an ugly old fridge? The fridge will probably be better off with an iron. Irons don't last all that long either but at least you always know you are having the desired effect on them and can be enhanced by this yourself.

The fridge could be brought back to something like working order by removing the aphrodisiac. But how do you calm down something already fitted with frigidisers? It lives in a perpetual cold shower. If you disconnect the fridge you will have to get another one to cover the downtime and two overstimulated fridges in one place is a recipe for disaster. You can defrost it and ask for new circuits to be fitted at considerable cost but the muscle memory of the fridge will still be there. When the new circuits start working the frame will recall the sensation of the electricity and that of the overstimulation together. The choice appears stark. Either let the fridge rampage around the neighbourhood until it wears itself out or scrap it. A disconnected overstimulated fridge on the scrapheap would still shake and if it were recycled you would simply be passing the problem on to a new appliance. Putting two gallons of aphrodisiac in the fridge has sent it beyond the point of no return. Destroy it now before it is too late for every electrical appliance which has ever shared its juice.

Or perhaps there is an alternative. There may just be one way of restoring an overstimulated fridge to its rightful condition. Sooner or later it will get round to the vacuum cleaner. On full power this is a fearsome sight. If the fridge happens upon a Dyson which never loses suction it is touch and go which would dry up first. The fridge would enjoy the connection too. So to avert the end of electrical civilization as we know it Devontra Creations should attach the vacuum cleaner at full power to the central circuits of its fridge. This may of course leave the vacuum cleaner with the same problem the fridge has and Devontra Creations with an even bigger problem. But surely it is worth the gamble? Even if the rampant fridge dooms the business at least they can charge people to see fridge and vacuum cleaner in action. The entertainment value of this alone would be enough to ensure an eternal name for the company and the effect of its products.