You Are Or You Aren't

This afternoon I sat next to a lady who was talking to someone else. The other person enquired if she was healthy as people do. The lady responded that she was "originally from Scotland".

Either you come from Scotland or you do not. If you are "originally" from Scotland it implies that you now come from somewhere else. So how do you get over being a Scot? Why would you want to? What would you aspire to be if you no longer wanted to be a Scot?

The noble race of the Scots has certain characteristics. Firstly they are all liars. The Scots actually come from Ireland and the Irish from Scotland. Look back to the sixth century and you will see that this is so. The English however come from England as they did not exist before the Anglo-Saxon tribes invaded from Germany and Denmark and then settled here and developed into a separate people. If you are "originally from Scotland" it means that you now acknowledge that you are not an actual Scot at all. You now admit to being Irish or Pictish or Lothian as they really do come from Scotland. But of course you cannot prove it conclusively because no one can. You remain a Scot by remaining a liar but at least you now acknowledge the fact.

Another element of Caledonianism is that they all claim to speak English and then insist it is a separate tongue called either "Lallans" or "Heeland". Either they speak English or they speak another language. Being English one minute and different the next is usually the preserve of third world dictators who base their credibility on being "jailed by the British" when it was the fact that they were British people committing British crimes which got them in a British jail in the first place. If you are originally from Scotland but are no longer from there you acknowledge that you only speak one language. It may still be Lallans or Heeland but in such a case you would regard it and any accent in English as a personal eccentricity rather than a self standing linguistic form.

There is nothing wrong with being a Scot and no reason to not want to be one. Unless of course you do not like the French. Scotland as opposed to Britain has no real enemy because it was always allied with the enemies of England before the Act of Union. It has a foot in all camps and can justify any position because of it. The alliance between Scotland and France however was long and deep rooted and ultimately successful in the Hundred Years War. The only reason to forego belonging to a nation which is the friend of all is if you do not wish to be the friend of some. You get over being a Scot if you go along with the British policy of aggressive alliances for personal reasons.

So what would you wish to be if not a Scot? Clearly not English or even British as the other British nations are the continual butt of Scottish "humour". A Scot wanting to be someone else would be a Serb. This small nation is greatly unfortunate and whenever it tries to unite its people and territory the rest of the world tries to prevent it for reasons no one seems to know. It also claims that it can do what it likes to smaller nations on the grounds that it too is a small nation. If you come originally from Scotland you think you come from a small nation with a big neighbour who stops you from doing what you want. How you wish you could strike out at those around you. If you are a Serb you can do that precisely because you are a small nation and still claim to be the victim. Being no longer a Scot means you are really trying to become a Serb.

All of the above is racist. Or so it seems to me as an Englishman. But who am I to judge? I do not feel the need to say I am "originally from England" when I do not agree with aspects of Englishness. Does this mean that Scots have no right to demean themselves by falling prey to this temptation?