Gone But Not Forgotten

England is always mourning its lost heritage. Rightly so. A great deal of time and effort has gone into producing great artefacts which form part of one of the leading world cultures. Then no matter how much they are appreciated the bulldozers and the ignorant move in and they are lost to the world forever.

It is with particular sadness that I report the destruction of an important literary and social artefact in the otherwise very traditional city of Exeter. This would be the last place you would imagine such cultural vandalism to have taken place. It will always be regretted that a seminal example of the art of a distinct local community has been sacrificed for the sake of a few inches of whitewash.

On the outskirts of Exeter there is a drinking establishment called The Cowley Bridge. One of its most patronised features is an outdoor gallery known as The Gents. Here gentlemen contemplate the issues of life. They also express their concerns in prose and verse and the example thus set encourages others to do the same.

For many years every visitor to The Gents was confronted with a poem written in a distinctive blue script by an anonymous author. It is no accident that it was displayed directly opposite the entrance as in four short lines it encapsulated the entire experience of the students of that city. It is reproduced below for the first time since its destruction in the hope that it will once again stir the hearts of all who see it.

The poem ran:

"Andrew Springman, called The Moose
Had tight trousers, though his morals were loose.
To prove his manhood (he wasn't a failure)
He shoved his (this part is left blank) up Dierdre Taylor".

It is easy to see why this verse was displayed in such a prominent place in The Gents. It challenges a great many of the assumptions we enter the room with. It assumes that the unfortunate Mr. Springman is unknown due to his implied status as a student rather than a person who has achieved anything in the world. It then posits the theory that by bestowing a nickname upon any person they rise above their current status by thus obtaining an equal level of recognition. The use of the word "though" in the second line is telling. The assumption would be that tight trousers and loose morals go together. The clear message of the poem is that in the eyes of a student the two are mutually opposed and thus a new concept of morality and its relationship to conduct is presented as the norm.

The third line assumes that manhood equals success rather than a level of maturity. Few verses have ever conveyed so tightly the struggle to become a man which is so key to persons of that age group and the fact that becoming a man is itself the ultimate success. The fourth line also inverts our initial expectation by its deconstructed nature. The radical move of leaving a word out of the poem leaves us to make our own assumption about what exactly Mr. Springman shoved up Ms. Taylor. But it does something more. It dramatically demonstrates that to be called a man any interaction with a woman is acceptable. By naming the woman it further demonstrates that the interaction is between two people who have now become sufficiently developed to be identifiable by their names without further description. This truly defines the nature of maturity and social relation and the connection between the two. Search the annals of literature and you are unlikely to find any finer examination of these topics expressed with such brevity. It is the apotheosis of this branch of student literature.

No one can remember for how many years this untitled poem graced its location. But it was there throughout the 1980's and possibly beyond. Now new owners have whitewashed over it. It is only to be hoped that the original blue inscription with its verve and texture can still be rescued for the nation. It truly deserves to be displayed alongside such classics as "Don't beam me up yet Scotty I'm having a ...." and the unrepeatable one about the effects of Smirnoff vodka. People complain nowadays about the apparent lack of imagination of the serious and career-orientated student population. Here is a sublime example of the happier times some once enjoyed.

Heritage belongs to us all. We all have a responsibility for it. Were Mr. Springman or Ms. Taylor consulted? Action is required now. How can we build a land fit for Exeter students to live in without this ultimate manifestation of what they are?