Truth Stranger than Fact

The Guardian newspaper once had a reputation for being full of misprints. This is because it was the first to dispense with the services of a proof-reader. No one knows whether it really had more misprints than any other paper. Now however all the copy checking and correction are done by computer so all newspapers should be equal in this respect.

It is important to bear this in mind when reading certain columns in The Guardian. Sometimes you come across a word which you might once have assumed was a misprint. Now however that assumption does not hold. If you see the wrong word here and there you must assume it is supposed to read the way it does and that it is your perception which is at fault rather than the spellchecker on the editorial computer.

Last week the cricketer Mark Ramprakash submitted his column as usual. The last item was a sexist dig at his wife. He stated that he had asked her to glue the sole back onto his broken boot which then came apart as soon as he wore it. Only he did not quite say that. He inadvertantly revealed the truth of the matter by saying that he asked her to glue on the SOUL of his boot. Hereby hangs a tale.

Every human activity has an irreducible minimum. There is a fundamental element of every activity which must always be present for the activity to take place. You cannot get drunk without something which can make you drunk being involved for example. What is the irreducible minimum of cricket? Surely not the ability to bat or bowl or field. Plenty of experienced players can do none of these things and the England team of 1987 famously won the Ashes in Australia without being able to do any of them. Grass is not necessary and neither are a ball or wickets or bats. Many thousands of games have been played in school playgrounds without any of these items. The key is footwear. You can play the game barefoot but not at the highest level as Mr. Ramprakash does. In countries where barefoot play occurs such as India they are forced to wear boots for first class matches. The soul of cricket is truly in the footwear. Without adequate footwear no serious cricket can ever take place.

Even an experienced proof reader might have missed "soul" for "sole" in the old days. They do after all sound the same. All words begin as sounds before they are written down. Why did the English choose to give these two entirely different meanings to the same sound? Because they are actually the same meaning. The religious term "soul" clearly existed long before it was applied to secular things due to the importance of the Church in the world of the first English speakers. They all knew that everyone had a soul but in those days not everyone had a sole. If you had a sole you had a certain position and as in all societies it is those of middle rank rather than the poorest who are the guardians of its institutions and values. If you had a sole you were part of the soul of the country. It is what gave you that soul. The doctrine of personal responsibility is likewise the source of the term "sole" as in alone. If you could take responsibility for secular things instead of having your whole life governed by lords and masters you again were part of the soul in the other sense. Easy when you think about it. The same reasoning lay behind the adoption of the term "alter" for changing things as that is where communion is prepared. I could go on but as Sir Harry Secombe demonstrated Go On is the same as Goon so I am reluctant to continue this line of argument.

There is however one final example to which we might all take heed. Animals are in a better position than man in one important respect. They are likewise creatures of God but do not have to justify their deeds. Are all animals therefore equally blessed? Clearly not. Because only one of them is called a Sole. When the Last Judgment comes most of us will writhe in eternal agony whilst we watch this type of fish effortlessly ascend to whatever part of the heights is prepared for it. It will not have the best seat as only humans who have successfully struggled will deserve that. But it may well have some sort of place on the fringes. Where most people will be in fact. The humble Sole is in fact the soul of the meaning of life. Is this why the immortal Al Jolson was granted the grace to die after eating one? Most of us lost our soul long ago. Is it not worth following every possible lead to try and get it back again?